Microsoft is HAL9000
Dodger Dogs @ampm
“[T]he futility of individual effort.”—John Houseman [Mr. Bartholomew] to James Caan [Jonathan E] #Rollerball (1975). A Film by Norman Jewison, Screenplay by William Harrison.
“When you’re down and troubled, and you need a helping hand, and nothing, no nothin’ is going right. Have yourself a Dodger dog… .”
JAMES TAYLOR: I didn’t sing that.
CAROLE KING: “Close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there, to brighten up, even your darkest nights.”
JESUIT TEACHER, Bellarmine College Prep: Other than evocative manifestations of your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, which I hope has converted you by now, what does this song evoke about our lives here on earth? This floating raft of water?
ME: My internet connection is slow today.
NASA: Meteor shower.
MICROSOFT: Solar eclipse.
EARTHLINK: Low memory.
BRUCE WILLIS: Maybe it's you.
ME: What?
MICROSOFT: Yeah, you should go to rural Washington. No signal at all up there sometimes.
AT&T: Not enough servers or cell towers [smiles, always ready to make a sale].
JESUIT PRIEST: Light is faster than stone, after all, that's why we call it 'light'.
BRUCE WILLIS [looks at ME]: Maybe it's you.
LEONARD MARY, M.F.V.A.: Yeah, maybe you should.
ME: What? Shut up?
LEONARD MARY, M.F.V.A.: Shut up? No [heaven forbid]. Go up to rural Washington.
ME: My internet connection is slow today.
NASA: Meteor shower.
MICROSOFT: Solar eclipse.
EARTHLINK: Low memory.
BRUCE WILLIS: Maybe it's you.
ME: What?
MICROSOFT: Yeah, you should go to rural Washington. No signal at all up there sometimes.
AT&T: Not enough servers or cell towers [smiles, always ready to make a sale].
JESUIT PRIEST: Light is faster than stone, after all, that's why we call it 'light'.
BRUCE WILLIS [looks at ME]: Maybe it's you.
LEONARD MARY, M.F.V.A.: Yeah, maybe you should.
ME: What? Shut up?
LEONARD MARY, M.F.V.A.: Shut up? No [heaven forbid]. Go up to rural Washington.
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